Way to Russia Talk Lounge

bryak

Hello there ladies, I'm new here and don't wish to search the site for two minutes to find the information I need, so please help me out.

I want to meet a foxy Russian woman, marry her, and have her bear my children. I am a wealthy North American businessman who is too obnoxious to meet any women in my own country. I want to find a woman who is in a tough financial situation so that she will do what I say in exchange for a monthly allowance (not too much of course!) and make many children. I know that Russia is the perfect place to find simple-minded peasant girls who look like international supermodels and will do anything for money, so that's why I come to this site. I do not speak Russian, and would actually prefer it if my wife does not speak English, so that she cannot nag at me as women tend to do sometimes.

Are you interested?

Prospective candidates should be under 25 years of age, between the height of 5' and 5'6", less than 130 pounds, have blonde hair, blue eyes, and a good complexion. Other desirable characteristics are someone who is good in the kitchen (and bedroom), does not talk too much, has good child-bearing hips, and is overall just simple-minded and easily controlled.

About myself? Well, I'm 45 years old, not much to look at, about 50 pounds overweight, and have quite a quick temper. But I am stinking rich, and that is all that should matter to a simple-minded peasant girl like the ones all throughout Russia.

Please reply if you are interested. I will arrange everything if you just send me a picture of yourself along with your age, measurements, and any other info I might find useful. This offer is available for only a limited time, so please act fast or else some other lucky lady will snap up the opportunity of a lifetime!

Sincerely,
Bryak Pennypacker, esquire

Rolling Eyes

mr. barley · Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2006 5:40 am Post subject:

Your satire is brutally funny.

tuller · Talk Show Host Joined: 24 Oct 2004 Posts: 238

bryak...you must be smoking pot tonight Shocked

That ain't gonna happen ole boy Laughing

Tuller

overseas_expat · VIP Joined: 11 Jan 2005 Posts: 577 Location: Moscow

bryak, I'm on board with that, you rascally rich devil you. Very Happy

Would you mind too much if I were just a tad over 40, had short bits of teased Roosky orange hair, and kind of a roundish tummy? Also my mother needs a heart operation, my brother in Chechnya is being held for $10,000 ransom and I have a dyslexic 5 year old.

You sound like the man of my dreams. We have a 1 room flat with leaky plumbing where you're welcome to stay till the marraige arrangements are all worked out. Baby, I'm here for you! Mwwahhh.

XOXOXOXOX Hot kisses await your arrival.